This week we’re taking a stand against bullies. Kind of by bullying them back. First up the ghost of Bruce Lee helps us fight a Russian Van Damme in No Retreat No Surrender. Then we learn to Wax Off with Daniel in The Karate Kid. Also we talk about some kung fu movies, Death Wish 3, and give our spoiler free thoughts on Avengers Endgame.
Look, we’re sorry about that awful title too, OK? But we’re a legit site, and all the legit sites do the awful headlines like that. We’re rolling with the times, folks.
Alright, let’s get serious here. Guys, the first trailer for the Karate Kid sequel dropped today.
Behold the 48 seconds of pure nerdgasm…or nerd rage, depending on which side of the fence you find yourself.
It’s a teaser, so we’re only getting a taste, but let’s break it down anyway.
Camera flies over the California hills. Screen fades in from black on a handful of trophies before the black curtain drops and we see the All Valley Karate Championship tournament tree revealed. Some newspaper clippings of Daniel and Mr Miyagi. A taped up yellow flyer of Johnny, the new master of the Cobra Kai dojo, inviting you to join. Freshly stenciled mantra in bold black on a white wall:
STRIKE FIRST, STRIKE HARD, NO MERCY
All the while Johnny is shouting out orders. Then Daniel questions Johnny’s judgment…
We’re 14 seconds in and the nostalgia meter is already off the charts.
Inside a building, more trophies, with two people sparring in the back. Now a cliffside where two are practicing moves in sync. A stark contrast in teaching styles. Johnny’s stern voice reminding everyone that mercy isn’t a thing. Daniel telling someone that the fundamentals are all that matters.
Over the shoulder shot of Johnny looking on at his students. A yellow tinted shot of the outside of Cobra Kai, insinuating we’re getting an origin story for the best blonde haired bad guy 1984 had to offer.
Now it’s Daniel’s turn with the back of the head shot as he ties up that iconic black and white Hachimaki.
Some Rivalries. NEVER END.
The music crescendos as we finally see them. Daniel and Johnny. Face to face. Daniel makes a fairly standard threat as the 30 year old tensions reignite.
Cut to black.
Fade in the Cobra Kai logo.
Cue the drums.
CUT THE CHECK.
We’ve always been staunchly opposed to the rebranding, repackaging, and reselling of our youth…
(Ed. note: This doesn’t count.)
That said, we were genuinely disappointed that the Danny McBride Crocodile Dundee reboot turned out to be nothing more than a crummy commercial.
But this, we can’t decide on. It would be good to see what became of both Johnny and Daniel after that fateful night…besides the misadventures in Japan and that, of course. But is it worth it?
This leads into the other “problem” with this new series: It’s a Youtube Red exclusive.
Youtube is making a run at getting their paid service off the ground for good, and they’re coming at the one thing so many of us can’t resist: Our childhood.
Personally, the draw of the new adventures of D and J won’t be enough to get us to buy in. Not right away at least. If it turns out to be the next Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones…(it could happen) then a re-evaluation will be in order.
How about you? Is the site of the immortal, always perfect Ralph Macchio enough to convince you? At least it isn’t a Smith spawn on the screen, right?
The 10 episode Cobra Kai series is set to drop all at once later this year on Youtube Red.